just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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