you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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