I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
