Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
