Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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