I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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