He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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