if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
