YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
