I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
