that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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