That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
