Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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