I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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