once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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