I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
