as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
