I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
