They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
