Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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