Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
