the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
