You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
