I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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