I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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