I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
