Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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