oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Houston, we have a blender
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
