I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
