after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This is classic penis vs brain.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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