just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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