yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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