mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
