what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
3pm strippers are depressing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
