if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So. Much. Porn.
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