Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i dont even know how to be here
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
