Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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