i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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