omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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