it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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