got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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