I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You can't special order awesome
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
