the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
