we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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