I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
