I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
