I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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