Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize