Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it because I queefed?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
