Already got asked if we're dating
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
