You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize