We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
