it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
