No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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