Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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