if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
