so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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