Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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