There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dicks are not precious.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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