peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
