fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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