I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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