If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
