he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I wear drunk well.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
