While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i believe in u and ur pee
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
