I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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