Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
