Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
