Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
