He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
