The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
