why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
