I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize