so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
